wish you could say 'no' without feeling guilty or Bad?
Well, I have good news for you...
You CAN make yourself a priority AND care for others in a more balanced way.
I can really relate to the struggle of changing lifelong people-pleasing tendencies, as it's been a huge part of my own journey.
Does this sound like you?
"Why do I keep doing this to myself?"
"Why can't I just say 'no'?"
You didn't want to disappoint your boss, so you said yes to the last minute report.
You were worried your spouse would feel neglected, so you stayed up late watching tv together.
You didn't want to let down your coworkers, so you agreed to organize the office potluck.
You felt guilty not answering your mother's phone call two days in a row, so you talked with her for an hour instead of going to yoga.
Now...
You're exhausted, overwhelmed, and frazzled.
You have zero energy, no patience and it's taking a toll on your mind, body and damaging all your relationships.
But most of all, you're angry with yourself.
You feel you have no one else to blame; you're the one that kept saying 'yes' to everything; you're the one with poor boundaries.
Right?
Wrong.
Stop kicking yourself for not being able to say 'no.
People-pleasing is a coping mechanism learned in early life, that has become so ingrained a way of being, that it's the default mechanism for how you operate in the world.
Your behaviour is a 'reflex survival response' where learned experiences (reward/punishment) shaped your brain so that it associated: 'disappointing others = painful consequences'.
This is why a look of anger or disappointment becomes a crippling anxiety that keeps you trapped in self-sacrificing and people-pleasing behaviours.
You experience a tug of war between your brain and body every time you are faced with choosing 'self' over others.
What was helpful in ensuring attachment as a child no longer applies and instead has become an energy-draining pattern that is harming your relationships and your health.
Maybe you've realized that...
- You want to make yourself a priority - for the long haul.
- You want more reciprocity and respect in your relationships.
- You want to know when to say 'yes' and 'no' and feel good about it.
- You're craving freedom to spend your time doing the things you love and give back to the world.
But you think it's just the way you are...
Your people-pleasing is a personality trait, a character flaw, even...
You've tried to change but the extreme discomfort of saying 'no' means avoiding conflict wins out and is a much easier tactic than trying to speak up for yourself is...
Besides, saying 'no' feels...
...selfish.
...too hard.
Or you try convincing yourself you shouldn't be feeling the way you do in the first place.
But here's the thing you have to understand...
You need to rewire your brain so that saying 'no' feels good in your body
You can rewire new pathways to replace the old, no-longer-helpful ones.
You can learn the skills necessary to build healthier, more balanced relationships while continuing to be a caring, loving and helpful person in the world.
You CAN make yourself a priority AND care for others in a more balanced way…
…but it requires support from people on the same journey as you… it requires knowledge, practicality, inspiration, and a community where you can be reminded – and learn how – to rewire so your brain and body do not associate saying 'no' with danger and threat.
Anthony P.
LIFE CHANGING!! Kaliopi is like no one else! She has the ability to really pinpoint and give a great perspective on any situation or relationship and get to the deep root cause of it.
I have spoken to other coaches and non of them are like Kaliopi. I don’t remember any of the teachings of other people yet I remember all of the conversations and teachings from Kaliopi.
She is a true gem and I am 1000000% confident that everyone would find the same if not greater benefit.
She has changed my life for the better.
You want to prioritize your own needs - but HOW? How do you say 'no' without feeling guilty or bad?
Hi. I’m Kaliopi.
I help people-pleasers build healthier, more balanced relationships while continuing to be a caring, loving and helpful person in the world.
Instead of pressuring themselves to do things they don't want to, they learn to communicate their needs with ease for better connection, health and balance.
INTRODUCING THE KALIOPI NIKITAS COMMUNITY
Science-based knowledge combined with mindfulness-based practices that we do together, help you rewire and learn the skills you need to change your people-pleasing ways and build healthier, more balanced relationships - at work, home and social circles.