Bird’s Eye View (Literally)

 

I love watching pigeons sitting in a row on overhead cables.

 

I don’t know why, really. Perhaps it is the convergence of nature and the man-made jungle.

Seeing that much wildlife within the context of the grey, concrete city seems incongruent and, when you really think about it, remarkable.

 

I think what adds to my amusement, and amazement, is their ‘settled-ness’.

They seem so comfy, so at home; like they’ve nestled in to watch their fave Netflix series, ‘Game of Human Crones.’

I always get the sense that telephone cables are the pigeon version of a coffee shop, where they gather to gossip about the day’s events, as well as us humans.

 

Hank:             

Hey, Mabel… how are you today?

 

Mabel:           

Hey Hank.

Ah, you know… bit of bird rheumatism affecting my pigeon toes,

but other than that, I’m good.

How about you? How’s the missus and the kids?

 

Hank:

Missus is good.

She’s around here somewhere, preening her feathers.

Kids have flown the coop (hardy har har).

 

Mabel:           

Aw geez, would you look at that?

Francine just HAS to be different, doesn’t she?

We’re all facing east, but no! She has to face west.

 

Hank:             

Seems her white feathers aren’t enough of a vanity point,

she wants to be sure she stands out.

Mabel:           

(cooing-like chuckle) Where are the good eats today?

Any tossings from balconies or bird-o-philes?

 

Hank:

Well, there was a feast just now behind the grocery store,

but I doubt there’s anything left.

Between the pigeons, sparrows, and squirrels,

they took good care of them pickings.

 

I’m going to wait for school to get out,

those kids are always leaving a yummy trail behind them.

 

 

Mabel:           

Aw, but I’m peckish now.

 

Hank:             

Well, why don’t you hit the intersection?

That new Greek bakery that opened up is a gem!

Phyllo pastry crumbs, spinach-cheese-pie leftovers;

just hang by the side wall, behind the bus shelter,

and you’ll dine in fine style.

Mabel:           

Hmmm… that’s one busy intersection.

So many people rushing by.

 

Hank:            

Nah, you’re not afraid of those human blokes are ya?

Just waddle outta their way and stay near the wall,

they won’t even notice you.

Trust me, they’re too busy.

 

Mabel:           

Oh, so, you’re one of them pigeons, eh?

The uber-adapted-to-city-life kind; the type that’s so nonchalant

you don’t even bother flying off until the last millisecond.

 

I dunno, Hank.… Humans make me nervous.

I just don’t have your unflappability.

Hank:             

Speaking of humans, I pity those bipedal mammals,

glued to the ground as they are.

They never get to see a different perspective.

 

Mabel:           

Not to mention the funny way they walk!

Geez Louise! They never move their head!

I mean, why don’t they just let their head bob back and forth like normal?

 

Hank:             

(cooing in laughter)

My theory on that one is ‘unintelligent’ design.

They’ve got both eyes facing forward!

Can you believe it?!

How on earth do they see side to side?

 

Mabel:           

I guess that’s what all the head swivelling is about.

I’m curious why they’re constantly running around

like a chicken with its head cut off?

They are always in such a rush.

Hank:             

Clearly, wherever it is they go, it must be urgent.

 

Mabel:           

Maybe.

All I know is, I’m glad I’m not a human, always frantic and stressed.

 

Hank:             

Yeah, me too.

Can you imagine life with no wings and no calm? (eyes widen in horror)

 

Mabel:           

The funniest part is they think they’re more ‘evolved’ than us.

Hah! What a riot!

 

Hank:

Well, they have invented those metal boxes on wheels they move around in.

“Cars”, I believe they’re called.

 

Mabel:           

Well if they’re such geniuses,

why do they line up back-to-back in their “cars,”

edging forward ever so slowly,

until every single one of them has wound around that building

with the big yellow “M” on top of it?

Hank:             

Oh, you’re talking about that place they call “The Golden Arches”?

 

Mabel:           

Yeah!

 

Hank:             

I know!

All the good stuff is on the ground, anyways.

I’ll never understand their funny behaviour…

 

Mabel:           

Speaking of which, I’m off to see if anyone’s dropped any fries.

See ya!

 

Hank:             

Tweet ya later, Mabel!

 

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