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The Surprising Thing You Need to Stop Striving For

Have you ever seen a peacock with its head stuck in the sand?

I have.

In fact, I see it all the time.

Extraordinary human beings of immense compassion, intelligence, and ability, that don't fully see their own greatness.

When I reflect back to them the gifts they possess, they are always surprised and insist I'm overstating their genius.

These people downplay their strengths and significance.
They stick their head in the sand.

In part, because they strive to be humble.

"Whoa!!! Wait a minute!"
"Isn't humbleness a virtue? A desirable quality to strive for and maintain?"

And no.

Humbleness is a principle we were taught as kids; a moral standard that was instilled in an effort to dissuade us from becoming arrogant and conceited; its aim was to ensure we understood we weren't superior to anyone else; to respect and treat each other as equals.

These were all vital lessons... but, the problem is, that's not all we learned.

Humbleness also taught us to be self-effacing, to underrate, and minimize ourselves.

Instead of instilling the concept of 'I am not better than you', it asked that I consider myself 'to be less than you'.

It taught us to fold our splendiferous tails and stick our heads in the sand.

A closer look at the word itself, helps us understand why.

Humble, as an adjective, means 'having a low estimate of one's own importance'.
Synonym searches bring up words such as meek, submissive, and self-effacing.

humble |ˈhəmbəl|

-having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance;

-lower (someone) in dignity or importance

Synonyms: meek, demeaning, submissive, self-effacing, deferential

It is this debasement of oneself that I disagree with.

In striving for humility, deleterious beliefs became etched into our life's 'operating system'.
Beliefs, such as:

  • it is admirable to downplay your strengths and attract as little attention as possible
  • you should avoid outshining others at all costs
  • you are being unkind and impolite when you acknowledge your strengths
  • you risk hurting others' feelings when you show your full abilities
  • and that sharing your brilliance is the height of conceit and egotism

Humility does not connote a sense of equality; it teaches you to lower yourself in comparison to others.

In aiming for humbleness, you devalue yourself.
You hide and hold back.

When you censor who you are, you don’t show your true self or all of yourself.

The world misses out.
You miss out.

It's like a gorgeous peacock insisting its tail is unremarkable; that its stunning plumage is not really that resplendent.

Wouldn't it be a shame if the peacock refused to fan out its extraordinary tail because it believed it is wrong to display its iridescence; if it opted, instead, to stick its head in the sand, and maintain it is unimportant?

And wouldn't it be preposterous if it avoided doing so because it was worried it'd hurt the pigeon's feelings?

The world would be missing out on its beauty and extraordinary uniqueness; on a splendour and wonderment only it could offer.

The same is true for you.

You are intelligent, capable, compassionate, and funny.
You are considerate, tenacious, and well-rounded to boot.
In a word, you're magnificent.

You were not meant to blend in and mute your colours.

Like the peacock, you are not boasting or bragging when you own your brilliance; you're simply being yourself.

You can't help it; you were born this way.

By acknowledging your strengths and who you are, you are not implying superiority or inferiority.

You are simply saying 'hey world, this is me.'

Don't worry about the pigeons of the world. They don't even want the fancy tail. They take one look at it and think 'that heavy thing?! I'd never get off the ground with that trailing behind!'

And even if the pigeon does happen to feel 'less than', it is not your fault; it is because it has its own head stuck in the sand, blind to its fantastic abilities and superpowers - like its adeptness at thriving in the industrialized world.

By receding into the background, you do not change how the pigeon perceives itself or its feelings, you only deprive the world of your inimitable grace.

Admit to yourself first, and then to the world, that you possess greatness within you, that your presence impacts everyone and everything you come in contact with.

Stop withholding your unique qualities and authentic expression.

Quit insisting you don't deserve all the credit; that your skillset and successes are no big deal, that it's just second nature.

You are not helping anyone by diminishing your essence.

You are only limiting the scope and potential of the life force that you are.

You are not on this planet to act like you're invisible.

I invite you to own your genius, to come out from behind the curtains, and let the world see the iridescence only you possess.

Stand at full stature.
Look out at the world with your gaze neither averted downward in shame, nor upward in haughtiness; meet others' gaze on a level plane.

The undeniable truth is, you make a difference.

Let yourself see and be seen.
Allow your light to shine at maximum brilliance.
The world is in desperate need of your full radiance.

Do you find yourself hiding what you really think and feel in an effort to avoid conflict or protect others’ feelings?

Do you fear you’ll be seen as selfish and self-centered by letting your uniqueness shine?

Are you ready to start feeling worthy and deserving of all the good that life has to offer? 

Then check out The Kaliopi Nikitas Community where you’ll learn how to comfortably say ‘no’, set healthy boundaries and make the right decisions for yourself.

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Leave a Reply

  1. Hello dear, for some time I have been wanting to tell you to stop the waitlist and get started!!!

    The time is always NOW
    A big yes and let’s go
    What say? hugs AND LOVE

    1. Thanks for your sweet encouragement and excitement, Elizabeth!

      The only reason that I haven't started the membership site is that there is still work that's being done on the tech side and behind the scenes. There are certain components I want to have and they take time to put together (particularly as I'm trying to do the tech on my own! yikes!)

      So, hang tight! I'll be launching before you know it.
      Thanks SO MUCH!!!!

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