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The Truth About Self-Worth

Have you ever noticed how some people seem to be in charge of their lives, chasing their dreams and overcoming hurdles, while others seem powerless over their destiny?

And how is it that some people manage to overcome incredible obstacles and live a full life, while others are condemned to a bleak existence, trapped by their circumstances?

As a life coach I help people transform their lives so that they become the dream-chasers; and in working with clients I have noticed a common stumbling block that prevents people from moving forward:

an underlying belief that they are not worthy of happiness, abundance and joy.

"I don't feel worthy or deserving."

"What I want is not that important."

"What about my family? It'd be selfish to put myself first."

If you identify with any of these statements, the odds are high you are also well-put-together, exude positive self-esteem, and are the dependable, reliable, go-to person for everyone in your life - employer, family and then some.

How do I know? Because I used to be this person.

The put-myself-last, your-feelings-and-needs-are-more-important-than-mine person.

I use the past tense because I no longer am this way. In coming to realize two powerful truths that radically transformed my life and my priorities, I now not only live a life I absolutely love, I also get to help others do the same.

So what are these two powerful truths?

The first powerful truth is 'worth is a birthright'.

You are good enough. You are important enough. You are worthy, deserving, and precious. 

Greatness and worth are inherent qualities you possess within you.

The second powerful truth is 'your thoughts and beliefs contain tremendous power in shaping your life'.

The core beliefs you hold about yourself, your capabilities, how the world operates, what's possible and what's not, determine the choices you make or don't make.

"Your world is a living expression of how you are using, and have used, your mind."- Earl Nightingale

If deep down you don't feel deserving, you will not make choices that put your needs and desires first, you will choose to be considerate of others at the expense of your own life.

Take a moment and notice how you feel when you believe you are not truly deserving of happiness? What choices do you make when you believe this thought?

So the question isn't "how do I convince myself I am worthy?"

You are worthy by the mere fact that you exist.

The question then becomes...

What is blocking me from seeing this fact, from seeing that I am worthy and good enough and powerful beyond measure?

I invite you to challenge the thought that you are not deserving of putting yourself first and contemplate the following questions:

If you could direct all of your focus, time and energy into yourself, what would you do?

How would you spend your time?

What would making yourself a priority look like?

A happy, peaceful and fulling life is within your reach. You deserve it.

Hit the reply button and let me know your thoughts on this article. I'd love to hear from you.

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Leave a Reply

  1. OK. So you're talking about me…and I also feel like I'm not "good enough". (as in inadequate/incapable, which I know consciously is wrong)

    I like your style and wisdom! (You said everything that I would say to myself on a good day.)

    1. Ellen!
      I so miss you and your wonderful energy.

      So wonderful to see your comment here.

      Isn't funny how we all battle with these feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness?
      And I know, when you're in that deep, dark place no amount of self-talk can 'convince' you you are worthy… What I've learned to do in those moments is to ask my 'higher self' to believe I am worthy until my 'human self' can too.

      I try to notice that my feeling is based on a false core belief, not actual fact or truth and that I can re-program how I perceive the world and myself. By detaching with the thought, I can see it’s just my brain reacting in a manner it always has, and that in and of itself can be comforting.

      Next time you're having a bad day, ring me up, I'll remind you of the priceless, precious gem that you are.

      Much love,

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Science-based knowledge combined with mindfulness-based practices that we do together, help you rewire and learn the skills you need to change your people-pleasing ways and build healthier, more balanced relationships - at work, home and social circles.